The Second Wife
by donna79
Summary: Some people are taken from you before you are ready to let them go. However this happens, it still hurts. Sometimes you get lucky and find someone to make it through the hard times with. Set fifteen years after It's never too late.
1. Chapter 1

Story Title: The Second Wife

Pairing: Quil/Bella eventually.

Summary: Some people are taken from you before you are ready to let them go. However this happens, it still hurts. Sometimes you get lucky and find someone to make it through the hard times with. Set fifteen years after It's never too late.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but I do own the concept for this story.

AN: I have been wrestling with how to start this story since I decided on it a year ago. I am finally happy with it and I hope you all are too.

Not long after Jacob turned thirty two Bella started looking for warning signs. Would that be the day that she noticed that something wasn't quite right? She lived in fear that he would die without warning, one day he would be fine and then she wouldn't be able to wake him up the next morning. Then there were days when she thought that Alice had been wrong for the first time in her life. Jacob was less than three weeks away from turning thirty three when Bella came up with the idea to take him away to celebrate.

After sixteen years together she felt that they were still learning how to be good parents to their kids and better spouse to the other. They had been blessed to have the last three born within an eight year time frame. Josh and John were complete polar opposites. Josh was quieter and tended to let his younger brother shine while John was very opinionated and tended to let things brush off his shoulder. Kyla had been born just before Jacob turned nineteen. She was a spirited thirteen year old who looked like her mother but was an even tempered optimist like her dad. Matt was eight and looked exactly his dad and older brothers. He idolized John and followed him everywhere he went. Alexander had recently turned four and was like Bella in every way. He was smart and caring and wanted to take in every wounded animal he found. Summer had been born the year before and was starting to take after Bella. Both of the girls had Jacob wrapped around their fingers.

Jacob and Bella had decided to move closer to town when Bella found out that she was pregnant with Alexander. The cabin had been nice for them to start their family in, but Bella was starting to miss her dad and Jacob wanted to be closer to his family. They lived half way in between the Reservation and Charlie.

With her plan in motion Bella decided that it was time to let Jacob in on the idea.

"You want to go back to the cabin?" he asked.

"Just for a few days, we're due for some alone time, don't you think?"

"I don't know Bells," he said cautiously.

"Please?" she asked, giving him a pleading look.

"Okay," he said with a small smile.

She saw the worry in his eyes but she was going to do everything she could to take his mind off of everything.

XXXX

Something was right. Quil could feel it like a hundred pound weight resting on his stomach. He had noticed that something was off a few nights ago when Claire came home from school. They had been married less than six months and it hadn't been an easy road for them.

Quil had never pressured her into anything. He wanted her to be sure of what she wanted before they started their relationship. Their mothers had had other plans. Claire's mother had given Claire her wedding dress for her seventeenth birthday. Quil knew then that Claire had reservations about being attached to someone at such a young age. She had things she wanted to do, places she wanted to see. Quil had promised her that he would wait as long as she wanted. Their mothers had stepped in once more and pressured Quil to give Claire his grandmother's engagement ring as a graduation present. He had explained until his voice was raw that they could draw out the engagement as long as Claire wanted. She agreed to marry him as long as she wasn't pressured to have children right away.

Quil watched her as she sat at the kitchen table hunched over a text book with a highlighter clamped between her teeth. Everything about her screamed that she didn't want to be bothered. He would approach her gently and if she brushed him off he would wait until she was done studying.

"Babe?" he asked.

"Yeah?" she asked around the highlighter.

"Is something wrong?"

She shook her head dismissively, not looking away from her book. That let Quil know to leave her alone. He pulled out leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator and put it on the stove while he sliced bread to make garlic bread. He worked quietly until dinner was ready half an hour later. Claire cleared her things from off the table while he plated everything. They ate in silence but Quil could feel the tension in the air.

Claire cleaned the kitchen while Quil read in the living room. She came into the living room and turned on the TV without acknowledging him. Quil turned towards her once he had put his book down.

"I know something is wrong. You can tell me," he prodded.

Claire turned off the TV with a sigh before placing the remote on the table.

"Why have you never told your mother to butt out of your life?" she asked.

"I tell her that all the time," he said with a shaky laugh.

"But you don't mean it. You let her tell you what to do all the time."

"You're mad because I'm not more assertive with my mom?" he questioned, confused.

"If you were we wouldn't be married," she said with a shrug.

"I told you that we could wait as long as you wanted. You told them to go ahead and start planning the wedding, not me," he reminded her.

"Yes, I did, as long as your mother didn't pressure me about having kids."

"When did she do that?"

"Just yesterday when I went to see her," she said with a sigh.

"I'll talk to her," he promised.

"Don't bother. I went to see a lawyer before I went to class today. I can't do this Quil, I'm not as strong as you," she said with a sad sigh.

Quil felt air leaves his lungs then doubled over to rest his elbows on his knees. He couldn't believe what was happening. It was so sudden that he couldn't process it, couldn't find the words to argue with her.

"I know that this isn't what you want, but it's what I want. I love you Quil, but I can't be a wife, not now. There is so much that I want to do. Maybe in a few years we can try again, if you'll still have me," she said before putting a gentle hand on his arm.

She pulled away when he didn't answer her. She got a few things together, planning to come to get her things while he was at work the next day before leaving. She didn't hate him, she wanted to but she couldn't. He hadn't asked to imprint on her when she was three. She'd felt guilty growing up, like she was keeping him from having the life of someone his own age. All of his friends were married and had kids while he was left to pine away for a teenage girl with a rebellious streak. If they had never met he would probably be married and have a few kids of his own by now.

Quil lost track of time. He stayed frozen where he was on the couch all through the night and well into the next day. He never heard his phone ring or the person knock on the door that afternoon. He was oblivious to the fact that his mother had let herself in after work to check on him. Mae had seen Claire at Emily's that morning and she could see that something was wrong. She never would have guessed that the girl would abandon her husband.

"Honey," she prodded.

Quil didn't acknowledge her. She watched him sadly wishing that she could rectify the situation. If she could go back she wouldn't be so insistent that Claire make her son happy on her terms and left Quil alone about the whole thing. She felt awful about the way she had forced the two of them on each other. Maybe she could convince Claire to come back if she promised to stay out of things. No, she would just be interfering again. She would be there for Quil that would be the best thing that she could do.

XXXX

Jacob slept through most of the drive up the Olympic coast highway. Once they were at the cabin Bella shook Jacob gently to wake him. He stretched once he was out of the car, rubbing his eyes as Bella carried their bag into the house. Once everything was inside Bella unloaded the groceries that they had brought. She was thankful that they had decided to keep the house after moving into town. They had shared so many memories with the kids and their families there.

Jacob watched TV while she made dinner. She called him to eat but when he didn't come after a few minutes she went to see what was wrong. He was sprawled on the couch with an arm flung over his eyes. The hockey game was muted and she knew immediately that something wasn't right.

"Dinner's ready," she said to get his attention.

"I'm not hungry," he mumbled.

"Do you feel okay?" she broached coming to stand over him behind the couch.

He shook his head, his face blank. She took a shaky breath as she went back into the kitchen. She cleaned it, throwing the food down the disposal. Her stomach was in knots because she was so worried. She went back into the living room to find him sitting up but hunched over with his head between his knees.

"Do you want anything? I brought some Ibuprofen and some of that tea that you like," she said as she put a reassuring hand on his back.

"I'll have some tea. Maybe it'll help my stomach. I'll feel like I'm about to puke," he muttered.

Bella made the tea along with some toast. It wasn't much, but it would be something to settle his stomach. She sat the cup and saucer on the table in front of him and he picked up the cup, wrapping his hands around it for warmth.

"Are you cold?"

"A little," he said as he blew gently into the mug.

She pulled the afghan from off the back of the couch and wrapped it around him. She sat next to him, draping an arm over his shoulders.

"How does your head feel?"

"Like it's about to split open," he said with a shake of his head.

"We can go back home if you want," she offered.

"You went through all this trouble," he reminded her.

"I know, but I think the kids should be with us."

"If it gets worse we can go home," he reasoned.

He leaned back against the couch and Bella rested her head on his shoulder. She wished that he would eat something but she wouldn't force it on him. That would only make him mad and she didn't want to fight with him right now. She would keep an eye on him and she prayed that she could have just a few more days with him. Just long enough for the kids and their family's to say goodbye.

Things I want to happen in this chapter:

Jacob starts complaining of not feeling well and having a headache not long after they get there. Bella regrets her decision to bring him even though he wants to stay.


	2. Remember Me This Way

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**AN: I want to thank you all for following, adding it to your favorites and for sending in reviews for this story. It amazes me how accepting you guys are. If you change your mind after this chapter I'll understand.**

**Warning: Get out the hankies girls.**

Quil took a few days to let the news that Claire had walked out on him sink in. Once the weekend had passed he forced himself to go to work. The last thing he wanted was to have anyone feel sorry for him. He would put on a brave face and face whatever happened. He had a feeling that Claire had stayed away so that she wouldn't have to see how much he was hurting. She would more than likely take the day off from school to move her things out while he was at work. He would deal with that when he got home. He wouldn't let anyone see how much her leaving had affected him.

Having a job that made him put his focus on what was going on around him gave him a break from thinking of Claire. He clocked out and left the lumber yard that he had worked at since graduating from high school and headed home at exactly five o' clock.

He opened the door slowly when he got home, apprehensive about what he would find. The pile of shoes that Claire left underneath the bench by the front door was gone but that was the only place that had been erased of her stamp from his view point at the door. He stood at the opening of the living room, his eyes scanning the room. It hadn't been touched and neither had the kitchen.

He made his way down the hall towards the bedroom cautiously. The door was open and he could see from where he was that the picture that he had painted for Claire was gone and the place where it had been was cleaner than the wall surrounding it. Why had she taken it? It would just be a harsh reminder of how he felt about her.

He had given the picture to her as a wedding present. She was fifteen in the picture and she was lying in a field of wild flowers with her hair fanning out around her. She wore a halo of flowers in her hair and she held a bouquet that Quil had picked for her close to her heart. A smile tugged at her lips in her sleep making her look angelic.

It had taken him six months to get the picture precisely the way he wanted it. Now that it was gone he felt like a piece of him was missing. He walked into the room seeing the closet door open. Her side of the closet was empty and the top of her nightstand was bare. He was sure that if he went to her dresser that it would be empty as well. Even with the preparation and pep talk he had given himself couldn't prepare him for the emptiness that he felt. He felt like there was a gaping hole in his heart and that all of his oxygen was seeping out of it along with every ounce of life that he had inside of him. He had never felt more alone than he did at that moment. He sat on the bed hunched over with his arms resting on his legs.

How was he supposed to carry on? How was he supposed to move on from this? How could he face everyone? He stood then made his way to the bathroom. She had cleaned out most of medicine cabinet and had left the door open and left the light on in her wake. He closed it before looking at his reflection. Someone with dark circles and bags beneath their eyes stared back at him. He had lost weight in the past month due to stress from all the stress that his family and Claire's mom had put on him recently. His skin looked almost yellow from his lack of food. He couldn't even remember the last time he had drank anything much less the last time he had eaten. He sighed heavily before turning out the light.

He went back to the bedroom and lay down on the bed using one of his arms as a pillow as he stared up at the ceiling. It had only been three days since she left and he was already wondering if she would come back. How would he handle the situation? Would he welcome her back with open arms? Would he turn her away? No matter how much she had hurt him by leaving, he couldn't see himself turning her away but he wouldn't be the fool that he was when she had left either. If she did come back one day he would think of a way to handle the situation when the time came. He was just getting his hopes up thinking about what might or might not happen.

XXXX

Bella have given in to Jacob's pleas when he had asked to say an extra few days. He claimed that the fresh air was helping him and that his headache was started to go away before they went to bed that night. They had been up for less than an hour when he had locked himself in the bathroom. She could hear the sound of him retching from the kitchen. She quickly put away the dishes that they had used that weekend then wiped down the counters.

She moved through the house at breakneck speed gathering there things and loading them haphazardly into the car. Jacob was still in the bathroom when she came back into the house. She made her way down the hall and tried the doorknob before placing a hand on the door.

"Open the door Jake, please?" she said quietly.

"I don't want you seeing me like this," he said weakly.

"It's us against the world Jake," she said, her throat clamped tight with emotion.

She had lost count of how many times he had said those same words to her over the years. They had been a balm for her heart when things were tough and she felt like no one understood what she was going through. The lock clicked and she waited to hear him move away from the door before pushing it open. Jacob sat against the wall, his head resting against the wall with a look of desperation on his face.

Bella grabbed a wash rag from the rack above the toilet and got it wet before mopping the sweat from his head. She needed to get him home before things got worse. She knew that he would want to have a chance to see the kids one last time.

"I've got the car packed, we can leave whenever you're ready," she said, running her fingers through his sweat slicked hair.

Jacob let Bella help him up then he leaned against her as they walked out of the house and down the stairs. Bella wasn't used to this side of him. He had always been so strong and he was usually the one who everyone leaned on. She felt like she was living in some alternate universe where no one was who you thought they were. Jacob leaned against the door and was asleep before they made it onto the highway. He would more than likely sleep the whole way home.

XXXX

Sue was at the house when they got home. The baby was settled on her hip and as soon as Summer saw Jacob her little arms immediately reached out for him. Jacob sat on the couch before taking her from Sue. The little girl settled against him, burying her face in his shirt.

"I think she knows something is going on," Bella said watching them.

"I'm sure she does. I'll go tell the boys and Kyla that you're here," Sue said before leaving the room.

Matt and Alexander came into the room to sit at their feet. Matt looked up at Jacob with worried eyes while Alexander clutched Bella's legs unsure what was going on.

"What's wrong with him?" Alexander asked.

"He's sick, Stupid," Matt said giving his younger brother a warning look.

"Don't call your brother Stupid," Jacob warned weakly.

"He's not feeling well Lex," Bella said before placing a hand on Summer's back.

"He's gonna get better, right Mom?" Matt asked.

No one could accuse the Black children of being nonobservant. Each of them were smart as tacks and knew immediately when things were about to change for the worst. Even though Matt was only eight he was blunt and had a quick tongue for his age, he reminded everyone of Jacob. Alexander was four and he was so astute and bright that everyone marveled at how smart he was. Renee claimed that she wasn't surprised because Bella had been the same way when she was that age.

"I don't know Matty," she answered honestly.

"Should I call Seth and ask him to let the boys off early from work?" Sue questioned.

"Please," Jacob answered with a slow nod of his head.

"Where's Kyla?" Bella asked.

"She's on the phone. She said she'd be down in a few minutes," Sue said as she closed her phone.

"Why don't you call everybody Bells?"

"I'd hold off on Quil. He's not in a good place right now."

"He would want to a chance to see him," Bella reasoned.

"He won't come. I'll explain later," Sue said with a shake of her head.

Kyla could be heard walking down the stairs and she paused at the entrance to the living room.

"It's happening, isn't it?" she asked, scared.

Bella cut her eyes to her quickly before nodding. Jacob had made the decision to tell the older kids the truth once they were old enough to understand. He felt that his three youngest children were still too young to understand. At thirteen Kyla had an opinion about everything and if you didn't see things her way she would argue with you until you saw things her way. She was a female version of Jacob through and through. Bella stood and motioned for Kyla to take her seat. As hard headed as her teenage daughter was, she was still a Daddy's Girl. Jacob draped an arm over her shoulders before she curled up against him.

Bella went into the kitchen so that she could give the kids a chance to be with their dad in peace. She called Billy first and he told her not to worry about calling everyone else that he would take care of it.

"What's going on with Quil?" she questioned.

"Claire left him on Friday. He's not taking it well," Billy said grimly.

"Poor Quil," she said with a heavy sigh.

"Don't you worry about him; I'll be there as soon as I can. I'll have Embry bring me."

Bella talked to him for a few more minutes before going back into the living room. Sue was helping Alexander put his jacket on while Kyla put Summer's shoes and jacket on her. Bella looked between the two of them in confusion.

"Charlie and I think its best that the younger ones stay with us for a few days. Matt, say goodbye to your parents," she urged.

"I'm staying here," he said with a defiant shake of his head.

"Matthew Preston Black you do what your grandmother said right now," Jacob said sternly.

Matt blew out a deep breath before walking over to Bella. He hugged her quickly before going to Jacob. He wrapped his arms around Jacob's stomach, smothering his sister's in the process but they did not protest. Jacob's arms slid around Matt's middle holding him tightly. Alexander got onto the couch and climbed into Kyla's lap so that he could get to their dad.

Jacob kissed each other their heads before Sue and Bella pulled them away. Kyla carried Summer out to Sue's car and got her buckled in once her mom had the car seat in the car. Sue hugged and kissed each of them before getting into the car. Seth's truck was pulling into the driveway as Sue pulled out. The passenger door opened before the truck stopped and the boys jumped out once Seth had put the truck in park. They both took one look at their mom and sister and knew what was going on.

Seth nodded before putting the truck in reverse and pulling out of the driveway. Bella led the way into the house and the boys silently took off their shoes and jackets before going into the living room. Bella went back into the kitchen to call her mom and let her know what was happening.

"Bella, Honey?" Renee asked when she answered the phone.

"Yeah, it's me," Bella said, her voice small.

"Since I'm getting a second call from you this week I take it that something bad has happened," she said cautiously.

"Something has happened to Jake. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Tell me what's wrong," Renee urged soothingly.

Jacob and Bella had made the decision to keep the wolves and the Cullen's true identity from Renee. There had been times when Bella wished that she could tell her mom so that she could have a sounding board or maybe someone on her side when she had found out that Jacob's life would be cut short.

"Jake is sick. He started feeling bad a few days ago and he won't go to the doctor," Bella said with a watery sigh.

"How sick is he?" Renee asked in concern.

"It's bad," she sniffled.

"I'll be there by tonight," Renee promised.

"Thank you Momma," she said, crying.

Billy came into the kitchen while she was on the phone. He took her hand in his to give her the strength that she needed to tell her mom what was going on. Once she hung up she turned to fall against him. Sobs racked through her and he rubbed her back soothingly. She cried for a few more minutes before pulling herself together.

"I'm sorry," she said wiping her eyes.

"You're fine. You're not the first person to use my shirt as a tissue. Don't you worry about a thing," he reassured her.

"Thank you. How are you doing?"

"Not that great. I'm not ready to lose him," he said, his lips pressed together in worry.

"I should go and check on the kids," she said as she pushed her chair away from the table.

Jacob lay on the couch with his feet in Kyla's lap while Josh and John sat on the floor in front of the couch. Jacob appeared to be sleeping when Bella put a hand on his chest. He placed a hand on top of hers before opening his eyes. He gave her a weak smile before closing his eyes again. The kids were comfortable sitting in silence so Bella went upstairs to give them some alone time with their dad.

"Do you need anything, Dad?" Kyla asked quietly.

"No," Jacob answered, his voice a low rumble.

"Do you want us to get Mom?" Josh asked.

"I'm fine for right now, I'm just tired," he answered with a shake of his head.

Kyla looked to the boys for reassurance and John took hold of her hand squeezing it reassuringly. She smiled weakly at him, grateful that he was there. Out of the two oldest Black children Josh was the most reliable and reasonable while John lived like every day was his last. He had no regrets while his older brother was cautious about letting people in. They may have been twins, but they were as different as night and day.

Billy pushed himself into the room silently but stopped at the edge of the couch farthest from the kids. Jacob felt his presence and opened his eyes slowly. Billy gave him a small smile before Jacob tried to sit up. Josh put his hands underneath Jacob's arms and helped him to sit up. Jacob gave his oldest son an appreciative smile.

"Do the three of you think that I could have some time with him?"

"Yes Sir," the three of them said in unison before leaving the room.

Billy waited until he was sure that the kids were out of earshot before focusing his attention back on Jacob.

"How are you feeling? Be honest with me."

"My head feels like it's about to crack open, I'm nauseous, and I feel like I've got all six of the kids sitting on my back," he said with a distressed sigh.

"Do you want me to do anything?"

"There's nothing you can do Dad, I'm dying," Jacob said his voice cracking.

He swiped his hands over his eyes angrily, his face a mask of anger and stress. Even though they knew that this would happen no one could have been prepared for it. Bella had spent years researching for ways to reverse what was now happening. She felt like she had failed not only Jacob but the kids too. Billy put a hand on Jacob's arm as he let the tears that he had been holding back flow.

"Did I make the right decision Dad?"

"You did what you thought was right at the time," Billy said quietly.

"I wish that I could go back and do what everyone wanted me to do," he said, his voice thin.

"I know son, but there isn't any way that it can be undone," he murmured.

"You'll look after them, won't you?"

"You've only asked me that a million times so I'll tell you for millionth and one time; yes Jake, I'll look after them."

"This really sucks," Jacob growled.

"Just know that I would give anything to trade places with you," Billy said, succumbing to his emotions.

They cried silently while the kids had congregated to Bella and Jacob's room. The four of them sat on the bed trying to come to grips with what was happening.

"Do you think that he'll suffer much longer?" Josh asked.

"I hope not. It doesn't take long before it will take over him completely," Bella said quietly.

"It's not fair. Matt will hardly remember him and Alexander and Summer won't remember him at all," Kyla said through her tears.

"Then we'll work together to make sure that they knew the kind of person that he was," John reassured her.

"Have I told the three of you how glad I am that you work so hard to get along?" Bella asked.

"All the time," Josh said with a crooked smile.

Kyla placed her head in Bella's lap and Bella ran her fingers through her hair as she felt tears soak her jeans. John sat next to Bella, his back resting against the head board and his head against the wall. His fists were clenched tightly closed while his face was awash with anger. Josh lay across the end of the bed resting his weight on his elbows picking at a piece of string from the bedspread. Bella didn't like the idea of leaning on them after Jacob left but she knew that the three of them would step up and do whatever needed to be done along with her. The three of them had too much pride to let her go it alone.

The bedroom door opened slowly and Jacob stood in the hall taking them in. Bella met his eyes with a look of surprise. He shuffled across the room and sat on her other side. She leaned against him and he kissed her temple.

"You shouldn't have come up here," she said quietly.

"Are you going to deny a dying man of his last wish?"

"Don't pull that card," she warned.

"Josh, John, Kyla, come down here," Billy called from the bottom of the stairs.

The kids reluctantly got off the bed and filed out of the room so that their parents could have some alone time.

"Do you need anything?"

"No. I'm think I'm gonna take a nap," he said before his eyes fluttered closed.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Love you," he answered; his voice thick with sleep.

Bella turned to face him before placing an arm over his stomach. He closed his closest hand around one of hers and she rested her head on his shoulder. The last thing she heard before drifting off was his heartbeat in her ear. It was slow and weak, a cruel reminder that she wouldn't have many more moments like this.

XXXX

The room was still dark when Bella woke up. She stretched with a groan before rolling over onto her back. The house was quiet due to the late hour. Her mom and Phil were sleeping somewhere in the house so that gave her some comfort. Leah had been nice enough to pick them up when their flight came in that night. Jacob wasn't even gone and everyone was banding together around her and the kids. It was a sign of what was to come.

Jacob was still next to her as she got up to use the bathroom. She padded silently down the hall to bathroom and when she came back in she turned on the overhead light. It wasn't Jacob to sleep through her getting up because the slightest shake of the bed woke him up lately.

She held her breath as she crossed the room. She sat on the edge of the bed before brushing her fingers over his forehead. He was cool to the touch as she made her way down the side of his cheek to his pulse point. Tears formed in her eyes as she waited patiently for the jump of his heartbeat that wouldn't come.

She exhaled a shaky breath as she ran a hand through her hair nervously. She placed a kiss on his lips before standing from the bed deciding to wake the kids first. Her mom and Phil would understand. The kids took turns saying their final goodbye starting with Josh; they had made the decision to go from oldest to youngest. While the kids were with Jacob Bella started calling everyone.

Somehow she managed to save her tears for after she had called the last person. None of them had complained about being woken up in the middle of the night and they were all sympathetic. She was able to find a chair to sit in before falling apart. She rested her head on the kitchen table as sobs took over, shaking her down to her core. Even though she would this would happen nothing could have prepared for the loneliness that would set in. She would allow herself a little wallowing before putting herself back together.

Bella sat at the table cradling a cup of tea when her mom came in at seven that morning. Renee sat next to her and put a comforting hand on her back. Bella had been able to pull herself together an hour before so instead of looking like she had been crying for three hours she only looked like she hadn't slept.

"I'm so sorry Baby. I wish that there was something that I could do to reverse what happened," Renee said into her hair.

"Me too," Bella said flatly.

"At least he wasn't alone when it happened. You were there for him until his last breath."

Bella nodded, smiling feebly. Her mom had a point. She had done everything she could have for him. There wasn't anything that she could have stopped it from happening. Her mom had gotten wiser as she had aged and Bella was thankful that she was there. She would need her now more than ever.


	3. Don't Know What You've Got Til it's Gone

**Disclaimer: **

**Quil: Donna does not own Twilight.**

**Warning: This may or may not be a hankie chapter girls. Use your better judgment.**

Bella felt like she was living in a never ending dream. She'd had fifteen years to prepaire herself for Jacob's death but that hadn't stopped a dark cloud from forming over her and following her everywhere that she went. It was a struggle to make it through every second of the day. She was holding herself together in front of the kids; but she'd found a few precious moments to grieve in her own way.

Matt never took his eyes off of the couch. He had been lying with Jacob less than two days ago. His eight year old mind couldn't grasp the fact that he would never see his dad again. Bella needed to sit him and his younger brother down and explain what had happened in a way that they could understand. She needed to get through the planning of the funeral itself first. One obstical at a time please.

There was a knock at the door and Kyla got to it before bella could even turn around. She really needed to pull herself together. Leah walked in followed by Seth's wife Colbie.

"My mom and Charlie are waiting in the car for you," Leah said to get Bella's attention.

"Thank you both for staying with them."

"No thanks needed," Colbie said with a gentle smile.

The ride to the funeral home was quiet. Jacob and Bella had started planning the funeral the day after his birthday last year. It was hard to believe that his birthday was less than a week away and they wouldn't be able to celebrate it.

The consultation meeting had taken less than half an hour and Bella had explained everything that she wanted done down to the smallest detail. Charlie, Sue, and Billy were paying for the funeral so that the life insurance that Jacob had bought would go to Bella and the kids. Not even Bella knew how big of a policy he had. All he had told her was that she wouldn't need to worry about money while she was pulling herself and the kids lives back together.

Charlie followed Bella up to her room once they got back to the house. He didn't like that she was closing herself off from everyone except the kids and he was going to put a stop to it before it got out of hand. He closed the door behind him then shoved his hands in his pockets.

"If you have something to say than say it Dad," Bella said with a sigh.

"I am not going to let you turn into a walking zombie again. You almost didn't make it through the last time and I'd rather not go through that again."

"I'm trying as hard as I can," she sniffled.

"I can't imagine what you are going through right now, so I am not going to pretend that I can but you need to let us help you."

"Jake would do the same thing if the tables were reversed."

"And it would be Billy having this covnersation with him. Do you think this is easy for the rest of us? We've lost him too," he rationalized.

"I know," she said quietly.

Charlie crossed the room to stand in front of her. He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her waist. The door opened and shut quietly and seconds later Renee's perfume filled Bella's senses. She wedged her way into the circle and Charlie draped an arm over her shoulders.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked Bella.

"I'll try harder to let people help," she promised.

"That's all wer're asking for," Renee said as she rubbed Bella's back soothingly.

Bella wasn't used to having to rely on other's. Jacob had been the only person outside of her family besides Edward that she had ever counted on and now Jacob was gone and Edward had a wife and a family of his own. She would need to break down her walls and let everyone help her. She couldn't possibly do it all on her own.

XXXX

Quil woke up with a start. What had woken him up? He listened carefully for any sign of someone else in the house as his heart rate slowed. Somone pounded on the door and he could hear Billy bellowing for him to open up from the porch. Quil threw his legs over the side of the bed with a sigh. He had made it abundandtly clear to his mom that she should let everyone know that he didn't want to be bothered. He should have known that Billy wouldn't listen. He stumbled down the hall, raking a hand over his face as Billy continued to yell.

"I'm coming, hold on a damn minute," Quil grumbled loud enough for Billy to hear while he unlocked the door.

He opened the door giving Billy and Embry a tired look.

"That wouldn't have been necessary if you hadn't put the chain on the door," Embry said.

"It served it's purpose," Quil said gruffly as he flung himself into the recliner.

He looked between the two of them as he continued to wake up fully.

"Can we get this over with so I can go back to sleep or are we waiting for Jake?" he questioned.

"Billy, I can handle this, you should really be with Bella and the kids," Embry said before Billy could respond.

Quil's gaze moved from Embry to Billy. Billy's eyes had more dark circles and bags than usual and he looked like he was on the verge of crying. Suddenly, it dawned on him.

"No," he said shaking his head fiercely.

"Quil," Embry started.

"Shut up. This is just fucking great. When did it happen?"

"The night before last," Billy said quietly.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there," Quil said remorsefuly.

"You would have been there if you could have been."

"Can I talk now?" Embry ventured.

"No," Quil said stubbornly.

"Too bad, because I have something that I need to say. You didn't ask for Claire to leave you just like Bella didn't ask Jacob to die. You fought with everything you had to keep Claire satisfied. Just because she left left that doesn't mean that your life is over."

"That's easy for you to say. You never imprinted so you wouldn't understand," Quil said bitterly.

"That was out of line," Billy interveened.

"No, he's right; I don't know what he's going through and I never will," Embry said in Quil's defense.

"Quil, Embry has a point. Yes, it hurts when someone that you love is taken away from you or in your case leaves. You can overcome this."

"You haven't," Quil observed.

"And look how well I turned out. There is something that you need to know; Embry, could I talk to him alone?"

"Sure."

Embry left and Billy pushed his chair across the room until he was in front of Quil. He placed his hands on top of Quil's until Quil's eyes met his.

"You can be happy again if you chose to be. There is something that my dad told me as a kid and now I'm going to tell you. A bond between a wolf and an imprint can be broken but it has be the imprints choice. Since Claire has chosen to break her tie to you that means that there is a possibility that you might imprint again."

Quil stared at him skeptically as the news sunk in. He had never heard of anything like that happening. He thought that the only way to severe ties with a imprint was for them to die. Could he open his heart to someone only to possibly have this happen again? He would have to wait to see if it actually happened to find out.

XXXX

Bella had just put the baby to bed when John came in carrying the phone. He held it out to her and told her that Quil was on the phone. She waited until John had shut the door before putting the phone to her ear.

"Quil?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't find out until a little while ago."

"It's okay, I understand. How are you doing?"

"I should be asking you that," he said with a muted sigh.

"Well, I'll tell you how I'm doing and then you can tell me how you're holding up. I'm a mess, the kids are getting a first hand look at what I was like before Jake came along. I feel like I'm just going through motions," she said, her voice thick with emotion.

"I didn't see her leaving coming, but I should have. I was so set out to please everyone that I couldn't see that she was pulling away from me. It hurts."

"Well, just know that you've got someone in your corner whenever you want to talk because a pity party of two is so much better than one for one," she rationalized.

"That's true," he said with a light laugh.

"I'm glad that you called, I was going to call you anyway. I don't want you to feel obligated to come to Jake's funeral. We'll all understand if you aren't ready to deal with all of us."

"No, I'll be there; you still need me to be a pallbearer, don't you?"

"I can ask Syrus or Jonah."

Jonah was Rachel and Paul's thirteen year old son. She didn't really want to ask him, but she knew that he would do it if she needed him to.

"I'll do it Bells. I'll come out of hiding, just this once," he teased.

"Thanks Quil, I appreciate it."

They talked for a few more minutes before Kyla let herself in. She hugged Bella and told her goodnight. It had been a long day and the next one was going to be even more trying. They wre going to need all of their spare energy to make it through tomorrow and they would be leaning on each other more than necessary.


	4. Called for Duty Once More

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I just like writing about it and sharing my love of all things Twilight with all of you.**

**Warning: Get out the tissues girls. This one is a doozy.**

Bella didn't sleep the night before the funeral. She ran through the events of the visitation in her head. Every living member of every pack their had ever been had come to the visitation. She met Jared's eighty year old grandfather who was in actuality nearly two hundred years old. He spoke in Quiluette so Jared had to translate for her. Henry Ravenclaw was a sweet natured man just like his grandson. It was obvious that if he were younger that he would look just like Jared.

Sue, Rachel, Rebecca, and Renee had kept the younger kids busy while Billy had kept John and Josh close to him. Kyla had been a great help with getting Jacob's suit ready for him to be buried in and she had answered all of Matt and Alexander's questions. Bella had let the younger boys sleep with her that night even they'd slept in spits and spats. Summer had woken up calling for Jacob in the middle of the night but had calmed down once Renee put her into bed with her and Phil.

Quil hadn't been there and his presense was sorely missed. Embry had explained that Quil would be at the funeral but didn't give a reason to why he was absent for the visitation. Seth had been Bella's shoulder to lean on and never left her side. Leah hadn't been able to make it because her youngest daughter Annabelle had been sick and felt guilty for not being there.

By sun up on the day of the funeral Bella was so tired that she couldn't think straight. Her mom had ordered her back ot bed with the promise that everything would be taken care of.

"Mom, I'm not tired," Bella protested.

"Do you have any sleep medicine that you can take?" Renee asked, ignoring Bella's statement.

"Jake was taking something," Bella said absentmindedly with a sigh.

"Take one. Come, I want to see you do it," Renee persisted.

Bella growled in frustration before turning on her heels and stomping up the stairs. She stalked down the hall and into the bathroom where Josh was giving Summer a bath. She rifled through the cabinet until she found the bottle she wanted. She popped the cap and shook one out before filling a paper cup with water. She shoved the pill in her mouth then downed the water.

"Happy?" she asked once she had swalled.

"Was that so hard?"

"Yes, mom, that was," Bella said as she passed her.

"Get some sleep Bells. We've got everything under control," Renee reassured her.

Bella climed back into bed with Alexander. She closed her eyes, not anticipating to fall asleep. The next things she knew someone was shaking her awake. Bella opened her eyes slowly and saw the outline of Charlie.

"Wak up, it's time to get ready," he said gently.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Eight hours."

"It's after two? I was supposed to be at the funeral home at one to go over last minute funeral stuff with Reverand Webber," she said panicked.

"Renee went with Billy. Just get ready," he prodded.

Her breathing returned to normal and she threw her legs over the side of the bed with a sigh. She ran a shaky hand through her hair. She walked to her closet and pulled the dress she had worn the night before from it's hanger.

Charlie left the room closing the door with a soft click behind him. Bella shed her clothes slowly, still in the clutches of half asleep and awake. By the time she slid her dress over her head and zippered the side zipper she was thinking more clearly. She realized that if she didn't eat now her stomach would be loud enough for the entire congregation to hear.

Downstairs the refrigerator was stocked with food that people had been dropping off since Wednesday morning. She pulled out the aluminum container on top and sighed in relief when she saw Leah's tuna caserole. She heated up a bowl taking in the silence. Something wasn't right.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?"

"Where are the kids?"

"They're playing out back."

"Okay," she said with a sigh of relief.

She sat at the table and checked the clock as she ate. It was nearly three. Jacob's funeral would be starting in an hour and her family had found a way to keep her away from the funeral home for the entire day. They could be pretty slick when they wanted to be. She didn't give them the credit they deserved.

XXXX

Quil stood outside the empty room thankful that he was the first person there. He made his way down the center aisle with his hands stuffed into his pants pockets. He was mentally kicking himself for waiting until the last minute to buy a suit and dress shoes. The last funeral he'd been to was Sarah's when he was only thirteen. His granddad had opted out of a funeral and had his ashes spread over the ocean. He and Claire had had a beach wedding and he had been married in jeans and a dress shirt and had been barefoot.

The top of the casket was open and Jacob looked like he was sleeping with his hands folded over his stomach. Matt and Alexander had both made cards which were placed in the cloth lining of the casket along with a portrait of the kids that had been taken during the holidays the previous year. Quil pulled a picture of him, Jacob, and Embry from when they were kids out of his pocket and slipped it in with everything else.

He raked a hand over his face with a heavy sigh. His eyes stung with thick, fat tears that he had been fighting since finding out that Jacob had passed.

"I'm sorry, man," he choked out.

He swiped the back of his hand over his eyes quickly. What he had said had been enough to open the flood gates. He was sorry for letting his troubles get the better of him; he was sorry for not saying his last goodbyes while Jacob was still alive; most of all he was sorry for not being there for his friends and the only man he had ever considered a father figure when they needed him.

He placed a hand on top of Jacob's half expecting him to squeeze back they way he always did. The doors opened behind him and instead of hearing footfalls he heard silence.

"He looks good, who gave him a trim?"

"Sue did that a few hours before he died," Billy answered from halfway down the aisle.

Billy didn't want to trump in on Quil's time, he had just wanted to see if the flowers his brother had sent had made it in time. The arrangment that Bella had picked for the casket looked wonderful. She had chosen roses the color of the sun and white daisies. The colors reminded her of Jacob and would be pleasing to everyone's eyes.

Billy started to back pedal up the aisle when Quil held up a hand to stop him.

"It's fine, you can stay," Quil said quietly.

"Don't beat yourself up, son. Nobody is holding your actions against you," Billy said soothingly.

"I feel guilty," Quil sniffled.

Billy put a reassuring hand on his forearm to ease his pain. Quil retracted his hand from the coffin and placed it on top of Billy's. Billy patted his hand with his other hand as the doors were opened to let everyone in. People filed in silently and Quil felt the nearness of the Cullen's for the first time in years. He looked over his shoulder to see Carlisle, Esme, and Alice. He nodded in greeting and they smiled back sympathetically.

Josh and Kyla came in with Kyla carrying Summer with Renee, Sue, and Phil following close behind them. Quil wondered where Bella and the boys were.

"Charlie is trying to coax Bella out of the car and John and Seth took the boys to get a drink from the machines," Billy said as if he was reading Quil's thoughts.

Quil found a seat of the front row on the left where the palbearers would sit. He was the first one there and he hoped everyone would leave him alone. The room was nearly full when embry finally came to sit next to him.

"You alright?" he asked in concern.

"I'll be fine," he said, blowing out a loud puff of air.

Embry clamped a hand on his shoulder squeezing it tightly. that small gesture made Quil realize that he had no right to be feeling sorry for himself. He was being selfish. he stood and turned to face the row across from his where Bella sat with her family. He crossed to them and cleared his throat to get Bella's attention because she was looking down at her hands.

She lifted her head slowly and she smiled sadly once her eyes met Quil's. Quil's eyes widened in horror when a familiar feeling washed over him. Snip, snip, snip, snip. The strings holding him to the earth broke one right after the other. Bella watched in confusion as Quil stared at her, his mouth agape. Embry came to stand next to him a second later.

"He must have forgotten what he was going to say. Don't you hate when that happens?" Embry asked with a nervous laugh.

"I'll go outside with the two of you," Billy said gravely.

"Papaw, the service is about to start," Kyla reminded Billy.

"It won't take two minutes sweetheart," Billy said before pushing himself up the aisle.

Quil sat in one of the chairs in the lobby with his hands on his knees.

"Why did he just imprint on Bella?" Embry asked panicked.

"This isn't happening," Quil muttered with a shake of his head.

"I don't understand this anymore thant the two of you do. Quil, are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, I'm great. I just imprinted on the mother of my dead best friend's children!" he said panicked.

"Keep your voice down, everything will be fine," Embry rationalized.

"Maybe you don't realize how messed up this is but I do; because this fucked up on so many levels that I can't even count them all," Quil said sarcastically.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, peaking his head out the door.

"Bella's an imprint again," Embry said with a sigh.

Sam's eyes widened in surprise as he looked between Quil and Embry, wondering which one it could be.

"Can you keep it to yourself? She doesn't need to know right now," Billy cautioned not only Sam but Quil.

"Yes sir," Sam said before closing the door.

"I mean it Quil. You have to pull yourself together just for today, for Bella's sake."

Quil nodded before standing. Embry opened the door and let Quil and Billy go in first. The slide show of pictures was starting as they sat down. Quil heard Bella ask Billy of everything was alright and he told her that he that they would discuss it later.

Reverend Webber spoke about what a good son, brother, husband, and father Jacob had been and that he was leaving behind a legacy for his children. Billy told a story about Jacob as a baby and how he felt cheated that he had died so young. It was obvious that Billy was not happy with the way things had happened.

"No parent should ever have to bury their child," he said, his voice overcome with emotion.

Rachel and Rebecca stood with him until he was finished to give him support. Embry went next and told the story of Jacob telling him about the moment he first realized that he loved Bella.

"Sorry big guy, but he told me first; and he didn't shut up about her until the day he died," he said with an exaggerated eye roll.

That got a laugh from the group and a reprimanding head shake from Billy who wasn't able to hide his smile. Charlie went up next and fidgeted nervously.

"No father wants to find out that their teenage daughter is pregnant, I had my reservations about Jacob's fathering skills. Once Josh and John were born Jacob matured by leaps and bounds. I have never seen six kids who were loved more than my grandkids. They will always know that their dad gave them all the love he had to give and I know that they will pass it on to their children...When their forty, right kids?"

Josh, John, and Kyla laughed but agreed while Matt and Alexander nodded. Reverend Webber closed the service in prayer before everyone went around to the back of the church to the cemetary. The burial service was brief and Quil fought an inner battle to keep fromm going to Bella. Jacob wasn't even in the ground yet! Grief and shame washed over him as he drowned out the Reverend who was reciting Psalm 23.

Quil bolted once he had placed a fistful of dirt into Jacob's grave. Bella wondered what was wrong with him. She would call him after the kids had gone to bed and takl things out with him. Something had changed between them, she could feel it.

XXXX

Charlie and Sue's house was overflowing with people. Bella couldn't shake the feeling that Quil's weird behavior had something to do with her. She went up to her old bedroom and locked the door bhind her to find a few moments to clear her head.

"Hi," Alice said quietly.

"I didn't realize that anyone else was in here," Bella said with a heavy sigh.

"I had a vision of you coming up here. I want to talk," Alice prodded.

"Well I don't, could I have some alone time?"

"It will only take a moment," Alice rationalized.

"Alice Cullen Hale you come out of there right now," Esme scolded from the hall.

"But she needs to know," Alice explained.

"Now is not the time to tell her; whatever it is it can wait."

Alice opened the door casting Bella a forlorn look. Bella waved her off giving her an apologetic look. Normally she would want to know what Alice had seen concerning her life but right now she was too frazzled for an Alice bomb. She sat on the bed, her once deep purple duvet was now a sun bleached lilac. She ran a hand over it relishing in it's softness.

Noise drifted up from downstairs but she couldn't make out anything. She lay down cradling the pillow in her arms and holding it to her. She let a few tears fall but pulled herself together because the last thing she wanted was for everyone to feel sorry for her. Tonight was the start to a long road to rebuilding her family. She needed to be strong for the kids, if she led by example they would follow. She had her family and friends to lean on and that was enough for her.

XXXX

Bella was going through the mail when she saw a manilla envelope with her name on it in Jacob's handwriting. She opened the envelope and found seven letters inside, one for her and one for each of the kids. It was so like him to do something like this. He had probably given them to his dad for safe keeping so that Bella or the kids didn't find them. She felt that the twins and Kyla were old and maturing enough for her to give them theirs but she would hol doff on the other three until the time was right.

She quietly slipped into Kyla's room and made her way to her nightstand in the dark. She placed her letter on the table then tiptoed out. The boys were still awake and they stared at their letters like a bom would explode once they were opened. Bela placed hers along with the others in one of her dresser drawers. She'd had enough of a emotional overload for one day, she would read it tomorrow.

**AN2: It took me less than a day to write this chapter. I didn't think it would be this easy. Comments? Let me know.**


	5. Tears and Revelations

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight people. I am only a pennyless writer who is doing what I love for your amusment.**

**Warning: Get out the hankies girls. This is more than one tissue chapter.**

Bella had been given the night off by Leah and Clay. They had stopped by and taken Summer, Matt and Alexander home with them. Her dad had wanted her and the kids to stay with him but Bella had to take Renee and Phil to the airport in the morning. She'd gotten out of that by Billy; even so she wanted to be alone. She was going to have to get used to it from now on.

That night as she lay in bed unable to sleep her mind drifted to the letters in her nightstand. She turned the lamp on her nightstand on before pulling open the drawer. She would only read hers, reading the others would be like an invasion of privacy. She took a deep, fortifying breath as she slid a finger beneath the flap. Tears formed in her eyes as she read the opening of the letter.

_To the love of my life,_

_There are so many things that I want to say yet I can't find the words to express what I am feeling. It's the middle of the night the night before our wedding and all I can think of is you. I cannot wait to be your husband. The boys and the child that you are carrying now make me love you even more. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to make each day better than the last._

_You won't get this letter until after I'm gone but I know that you can feel everything that I am feeling because you share these emotions with me. I don't want you to worry about raising the kids by yourself. No one is perfect and I don't expect you to be. Make mistakes; just make sure that you learn from them. If the kids get into trouble go easy one them, they are just kids._

_I want you to know that I don't regret any of the choices that I have made. Except for one. I wish that I had told you how I felt sooner. We both know that would never have happened. Edward and the Cullens were put into our lives for a reason. Even if I don't always like them, I know that you do. So I'll be nice because that is what you would want._

_Our life together so far has had its ups and downs but we've made it through together. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. No one makes me laugh, mad, happy, or sad the way you do. Thank you for standing by me through it all._

_Don't worry too much about the kids. They're going to be fine, Alice says so. You aren't the only one who gets to use her. She's smarter than I thought she was. You're going to be fine too, that is what keeps me up at night worrying. So just know that you won't be alone. You're going to find someone else. He won't make you as happy as I have, but he'll understand. He's lost the love of his life too. I don't want you to be scared, or push him away, even though I know that you won't. He'll need you just as much as you need him._

_Thank you for making living worthwhile. You are the reason that I wake up every morning. You and the kids are the most precious gift that I could ever get. I wouldn't trade my life for anything. Know that every memory that we share together will be etched into my mind even after I am gone._

_I don't want you to be sad. The kids don't need to see that. If you're going to cry, cry alone. I know that sounds harsh, but look at it this way, if you cry alone it will be like I am with you._

_I will love you forever,_

_Jacob_

She was gasping for breath because she was crying so hard once she finished. Tears stained the page. She shook her head in disbelief. How could she love someone else? Why had Alice told Jacob but not her? Rage coursed through her as she struggled to control her breathing. She dragged a hand over her face roughly, not believing what she had read. After a few minutes she reached for her phone and dialed Alice's number.

"Hello?" Jasper answered.

"I need to speak to Alice," she said, her voice raw.

"I can't let you do that Bella, I'm sorry," his thick southern accent answered back.

"Put her on the phone, please," she added the last word because Jasper was the last person she wanted to be rude to.

"Take some time to calm down and collect your thoughts; I'll have her call you in the morning," he said soothingly before hanging up.

She hung up the phone, throwing it onto the bed with a deep growl. She threw her legs over the side of the bed and crossed the room. She tiptoed passed the boys room but stopped at Kyla's. Light filtered out from underneath the door and gentle sobbing could be heard from inside. Bella continued, knowing that her oldest daughter would want to be left alone.

Downstairs, Bella turned out the light in the living room that she must have left on when she went up to bed. In the kitchen she rummaged through the freezer until she found what she wanted. She grabbed a spoon before settling down at the kitchen table. She scooped out a heaping spoonful of mint chocolate cookie ice cream and ate half of it with a deep sigh. She didn't even know why she was eating it, she hated mint ice cream. Who had bought it? Then it dawned on her, mint chocolate cookie ice cream was Jacob's favorite. She sighed resoundingly before throwing the ice cream in the trash.

John found her cleaning out the freezer when he came down half an hour later.

"What are you doing up? It's two in the morning," he asked, his eyes still bleary.

"I'm cleaning this out. Do you know that we have meat in here that went out of date a month ago? There are frost bitten Eggo's!" she said holding up a familiar yellow box.

"Do you want some help?"

"Can you take out the two bags I've already filled?"

John passed the freezer and refrigerator to see that they were nearly bare. He knew for a fact that Leah had gone shopping for them and had filled the freezer and refrigerator with food. He did what his mom had asked without saying another word. Where was the food that people had been dropping off? The weight of the bags gave him his answer: His mother had gone off the deep end.

Back inside he found Bella scrubbing to the counters with so much intensity that it scared him.

"Mom?"

"What?" she asked, not looking up from what she was doing.

"Stop," he ordered.

"I need to get this done," she said with a shake of her head.

"It can wait," he said putting a hand on her arm.

She stopped to look over her shoulder at him. John was the spitting image of Jacob at fifteen. She was taken back to the first time she had seen him outside her dad's after she had moved to Forks. John's disheveled hair fell over his shoulders and she sighed before turning to him. She fell against him and he wrapped his arms around her. She refused to cry but knowing that he was there helped.

After a few minutes she pulled away from him to look around her. The refrigerator was still open.

"What have I done?" she asked with a sigh.

"You're own version of binge and purge. Do you feel better?"

"In a way yes, but I feel terrible too. All those people were nice enough to bring us food and I just threw it away," she said, flabbergasted.

"It's a good thing that none of those containers had to be returned."

Bella laughed into his chest and he held her tighter. Even though Josh was older John was more mature and was better capable of being the man of the house. His younger siblings would be looking to him for leadership. It was a role that Bella felt that he was more than ready to handle.

XXXX

Kyla answered the phone when Quil called the next morning. Bella was outside with the younger kids keeping them occupied while Leah refilled the fridge. Kyla carried the phone out and Quil asked her to watch the kids so that Bella could be alone. Kyla thought the request was a little strange but Quil had always been a little quirky.

"Quil, why is Kyla offering to watch her siblings so that I can talk to you?" Bella asked in confusion.

"Because it's important that I talk to you. You're not gonna like what I have to say," he cautioned.

"Okay," she said slowly.

"First off, I want to apologize for what I'm about to tell you."

"My God Quil, just tell me," she said, scared.

"I have-" his voice distorted.

"You've what?"

He mumbled in answer, all Bella could understand was the word print.

"Quilterra Eugene Attera Junior, did you just say that you have imprinted on me?!" she said her voice rising with each word.

Something crashed from the kitchen and Bella went to investigate. Leah was sweeping up a pile of porcelain which had formally been a plate. She stared at Bella with a wild eyed look.

"Yes," he said with remorse.

"Jesus, Mary Mother, and Joseph," Bella whimpered.

"I'm sorry," he pleaded.

"How have you managed to...When...How did this happen?" she stammered.

"When Claire left she broke her tie to me, freeing me to imprint on someone else."

"And of course it would be me, I've proved that I can produce puppies," she said sarcastically.

"Well, you do have a litter," Leah mocked with laughter.

"Nobody asked you!" Bella growled.

"I didn't plan on this happening."

"Do you still have feelings for Claire?"

"They're gone," he affirmed.

"Quil, this is too much."

"I know. I'll understand if you just want to remain friends."

"I don't think so. The future seer has spoken."

"What?"

"Jacob wrote me a letter. Alice told him about you and I ending up together, just not now."

"I'll accept that. So what do we do now?"

"We'll take things as they come."

They talked for another ten minutes while Leah made a phone call of her own. By the time Bella had gotten off the phone with Quil, Sue was already there. Leah went outside with the kids and Sue led Bella to the table.

"Well, I didn't see this coming," Sue said in shock.

"Alice did somehow and she told Jacob how told me in a letter which I read less than twelve hours ago," she said gravely.

"He wrote you a letter?"

"He wrote letters to the kids too. I have Josh, John and Kyla's theirs the other night."

"I wish that I'd had something like that from Harry. I didn't get any closure."

Bella had thought of it that way. She had been lucky to have a chance to be prepared for what would happen.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Bella said with a sigh.

"I'd love to give you some quick and easy resolution but it doesn't work like that," Sue said sympathetically.

"I know."

"This is something that you need to work thorugh with Quil. I can't sway your opinion but I can give you some advice: Don't take this for granted. Second chances don't come along all the time," she said with a sad smile.

Sue was talking about her relationship with Charlie. They dated for almost two years before Sue had broken up with him. Charlie had been crushed but he had understood. Sue had still been grieving for Harry at the time and she felt that she was trying to replace him. Charlie had started seeing someone, Cecily, not long after Sue left him. They had gotten married and had a baby together all within ten years. Cecily had decided that she wanted a different life so she had left Charlie with Bella's four year old brother, Tyson. Charlie and Sue were married the summer before and things were going well for them. The time in between had been difficult and eye opening for Sue. She had loved Charlie, she had just been too scared to realize it. Bella knew exactly what she needed to do.

XXXX

Sue had been elated when Bella had dropped Alexander and Summer off for a playdate the next morning. Bella knew that Quil would be home because he'd had every Tuesday off for as long as she could remember. She felt guilty for going to see him, like she was betraying all of the memories that she had made with Jacob but if she didn't do this she would always wonder if she'd made the right decision.

Quil was working on his truck in the front yard when Bella pulled up. He wiped his hands on a rag before meeting her in the middle of the yard. He looked down at his feet which were kicking up clumps of dirt. She put a hand on his arm tentively and his scared eyes finally met hers.

"This is hard," he said with a sigh.

"I know, but we need to work through this."

"How?"

"First off, we need to see what kind of connection we have. With Jake everything was so easy," she said with a slow shake of her head.

"Things were never easy with Claire. She fought me on pretty much everything."

"We don't have to talk about them."

"No it's good. Talking about Jake is okay," he assured her.

Bella nodded, not knowing what do or say. She had never been able to handle awkward situations. Quil pulled her in for a hug and she let him, even if she kept her arms at her sides at fiirst. Once she got over her fears she wrapped her arms around his back.

"This is kind of nice," he said with a light laugh.

"Yeah, it is," she agreed quietly.

It wasn't like hugging Jacob but even as she could feel that something had changed. She felt sympathy for Quil because his first chance at love had been shot to hell while she'd been blessed with enough memories to last her family a lifetime. Quil deserved that too. It would take time, but she kew eventually he would have what he deserved and that she would be the person to make it happen.

**AN: I wrote Jake's letter to Bella while I was still writing the first story. It took me three hours to write it and I cried like a frigging baby the whole time. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Let me know what you all think.**


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